


the one where i regret all my life choices but Clint and Natasha adopt a kid because why not and i wanted to write something happy for once

by TheBiSpy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ballet, Drawing, F/M, Gen, Herbal tea, Kid Fic, Like, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, So smol, also, but i mean same, doctor who - Freeform, if you know what you're looking for, lil bit of angst, lil human, loves graphs, mostly cute tho, or in this case reading for, pretty obvious to fans of the show though, she does cool things, whatever, why did I think this was a good idea???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 19:24:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBiSpy/pseuds/TheBiSpy
Summary: Clint and Natasha adopt a tiny human and she's too good for this world and probably wears her hair in floofy pigtails or braids or something and roundhouse kicks racists and homophobes so hard that they forget how to speak English.





	the one where i regret all my life choices but Clint and Natasha adopt a kid because why not and i wanted to write something happy for once

**Author's Note:**

> woo yeah im a mess with no self esteem but I wanted to write this because it seemed like a good idea at 10 or 11 (it's a blur, SIR) but anyway let's get on with this

_My name is Felicity Audrey Barton-Romanov. My Mama and Papa call me Flic, and so does everyone else because Felicity sounds too girly and I like how Flic sounds anyway. I am 8 and 1/4 years old, which means I'm older than 7 and that I can write now. I am so good at writing that I get to write this! My teacher, Mr Smith, told our whole class to write about our families and mine is REALLY REALLY BIG so this could be loooonng._

_My Mama and Papa aren't my real birth mama and papa. My Mama can't have any babies, and my parents died when I was very very young. I asked my Mama why she couldn't have any babies because I don't have any siblings to play with and sometimes it gets boring, and she said that some bad people did some bad things and that I'd never have to go through what she did. I dunno what that means, but it must be bad because sometimes she goes all far away and stuff. A lot of my family does that, but they always get better and I still love them all anyway. My Mama speaks soooo many languages, and I wanna learn them too! I can speak English and Russian. Sometimes I can't speak Russian to her or Uncle Bucky because it makes them do the far away thing, and maybe one day I'll know why. My Mama gets to save the world sometimes. She's a superhero! Sometimes she's away with some of my uncles but they always come back. Sometimes her and Papa go away for weeks but they always call when they can and that's good because I miss them a lot when they go away and save the world._

_Anyway, my Papa is also a superhero. He has really good eyesight and he said that was because he was kinda deaf which means you can't hear good. He taught me sign language so we can talk without using words! Sometimes we talk about other people and I make him laugh. I love it when people laugh, especially my Papa because he sounds like loads of fairies having a party in a forest like in some books. Sometimes my Papa walks around at night when he thinks I'm asleep, sometimes I hear him sit down and me mutters to himself and then I come out and put a blanket on him because otherwise he'd get really cold and that's not nice. My Papa is a really cool Papa, because he's really nice all the time and he always knows what to say to Mama when she's off on a far away day. He also lets me into the vents which is how I sometimes get around my house. He also taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow but I'm not so good at that one._

_My Uncle Tony and Aunty Pepper are cool. Aunty Pepper is really super duper clever and is really organised which is good because Uncle Tony isn't. Sometimes I go into his workshop where him and Uncle Bruce work and it's always really really messy. Uncle Tony is very clever too, but he doesn't do so good at the stuff Aunty Pepper is good at because he invents things and she organises everyone. Sometimes Aunty Pepper has to take him out of the workshop because JARVIS says he's had an 'anxiety attack' or he hasn't slept in 4 days. I dunno what an anxiety attack is, but he gets really breathless and twitchy. I think it has something to do with his PSDT or whatever the doctors call it. But he always gets better because he's a superhero too and they don't just fight off bad guys because they also fight off nightmares and stuff too. He wears a really cool armour thing and it's not made of iron but people say it is. Sometimes he and Uncle Bruce teach me how to MAKE THINGS and I understand that a lot more than a bow and arrow. I created an arrow for Papa that is really thin and goes super fast. Uncle Tony even let me dip in in gold! Real gold! Uncle Tony made a cool suit for Rhodey who comes up here sometimes, but Rhodey is a super government person army guy and he's busy a lot but not so much that he doesn't go and save the world sometimes. Aunty Pepper taught me how to do a 'table' and 'spread sheet' and 'graph' and they are fun because I get to use the coloured pencils that Uncle Steve gave me. Aunty Pepper also cooks really well and healthy and she taught me some stuff. I can pack my own lunch for school sometimes._

_Uncle Bruce is always really calm which is good because when I don't wanna be around people I can sit above where he works on some of the rafters and draw things. It always smells really nice where he works because he has loads of herbal teas and stuff and they all smell like HEAVEN. He doesn't talk so much, but that's ok. He does the far away thing too, but that's ok because people say that it's better than the 'other guy' and he says it too so I guess that's good. He saves the world by learning about all the plants and animals and living things and a thing called 'gamma rays' which are bad. Mama said his Papa wasn't nice which is why he sometimes stays awake at night too._

_Anyway, Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky are apparently really old but they're not really because they only look young. Uncle Steve has a cool shield made of a rare metal and I can hide under it! Sometimes I have to, but only in emergencies. Everyone says he was tiny once, and he was because Uncle Bucky has a picture of them together from before WWII. I know that my uncles aren't really normal but none of my family is. Uncle Steve is a great artist and he taught me to draw and I draw a lot because it makes me feel calm like when I drink herbal tea. He also tells me about history because he lived through some of it. Sometimes the history teacher tells something wrong and I correct him but it doesn't matter when he gets angry because Mr Smith always backs me up because Mr Smith said he saw some of it too. I think he time travels! I once asked why Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky weren't boyfriends before the war and they said they weren't allowed. Maybe I'll get it one day._

_Uncle Bucky is really super cool and he has a metal arm! It's shiny and the same as Uncle Steve's shield and I think that's so romantic because it makes them connected. Sometimes I can just hang off it because he doesn't get tired in that arm! He also speaks a really big amount of languages. He does the far away thing a lot, and sometimes he disappears completely. That makes me scared because then Uncle Steve gets sad and Mama and Papa get nervous but he always comes back. He's got very very very bad PTDS or whatever the doctors call it and sometimes when him and Uncle Steve look after me when Mama and Papa and Uncle Tony and stuff are away he wakes up and he's not like Uncle Bucky at all. Once I woke him up by accident and he was kinda violent but then he hugged me and started crying and I dunno why. Usually he's super cool and he does ballet and wears BLACK and BLACK IS AWESOME and he laughs especially when Uncle Steve is around. He does all this cool undercover stuff because that's how he saves the world a lot!_

_Sam is sometimes up in New York but not all the time. He's great because he's funny and nice and he gives cool advice. I told him that someone in my class called me something that didn't sound nice and he told me he got called the same thing sometimes and that it was called 'racist'. I told him I hit the person who said it after they said it too and he said I shouldn't really have done that but it was fine because the kid was being MEAN AND NOT NICE. He also has a cool bird suit and he flies around and stops bad guys and he sticks up for people. Him and Uncle Steve are really good at that._

_Thor is cool too. He has a cool accent and travels by rainbow and lightning. He lives is a place called Asgard and it's filled with magic and stuff. He laughs good too, and it's really loud and it makes me feel happy. He tells really good stories of things that have happened is Asgard and more places I don't remember. He also has a magic hammer! It's supposed to be so difficult to lift that not even Uncle Steve can pick it up, but I don't believe that because I can and so can Mama and Uncle Bucky but shhh that's a secret. Thor also gave me a magic necklace that I wear all the time because he said it sends bad spirits away and I don't want bad spirits in the tower._

_So anyway, my family might be mega big and stuff but it's fun and I love them all a lot even when sometimes I think they think I don't. I really really do! I love how Mama teaches me language and sometimes ballet which I love, and how Papa speaks without words and laughs, and how Uncle Tony invents cool things and listens to cool music, and how Uncle Bruce makes nice tea and is calm, and how Aunty Pepper lets me help her cook sometimes, and how Uncle Steve does art stuff and history, and Uncle Bucky also does ballet and also has a cool arm, and how Sam is nice and we can talk about people being bullies because he used to get picked on for the same reason I do.  
I love my family lots and lots! _

Flic, age 8 and 1/4 

Notes: _Flic, this is a very good piece on your family and what it's like in your home. I'm glad to hear we can rely on your family in times of need!_  
Ps, I might be a time traveler but that's a secret :)   
Signed: _Mr Smith_

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy was that fun did you have fun coz idk what life is and I'm so consumed by my fear of living a life that is meaningless and dying uncontent and depressed but whatever. Like it if you liked it if u like, comments are a good thing, come say hi to me on my Instagram (random_sexuality_pun) or my tumblr (insidious-spoon) bc I want friends and a will to live :)


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